Stillness, block, ride - the cycles of transformations

I have already experienced what it feels like to remove old blocks and let myself be swept away on a wave of new energy towards a better and happier me. It was after my first psychotherapy sessions, and at the time the effect was so profound and the themes so important that I had been busy processing and re-experiencing things with enthusiasm for the next two years. Those were the two best years of my life so far and I never thought that something like that could happen again.

Stages of transformation

After such an "unblocking" you will feel brutally relieved at first. In depression, you don't remember what life tasted like before it, you only know a life that hurts. That's the starting point, your first round. Therapy strips the shit off you, and after a long time, you can breathe freely. Then you are still shy but ready for round two, where you re-experience the same life situations again, but this time without the pain. You are still careful and you don't put any pressure on yourself. You test whether your state is permanent or whether you can fall there again.

Once you gain confidence, you start to straighten your back, and there comes the third round of roughly the same life situations again. But now you are experiencing them with confidence, and even allow yourself to step in and change things at will. There you become the absolute creator of your being. For a while, you enjoy this stage until it gets under your skin and after some time you are ready to go into round four, where you start looking for possibilities of further shift, further purification, and the cycle comes full circle.

(Note: I am describing here, in a simplified way, how I experienced this process and how people around me experienced it, but each person has individual experiences and different inputs.)

Towards the end of the year, I was more and more attracted to the idea of trying a different therapy or enrolling in a course that would help me move forward in my creative work and give the kick it off. As I wrote in the first article, it had been obvious for some time that something was holding me back from doing what I wanted. Before Christmas I really worked hard at it, my discipline for both job and creative work has improved, but something inside was telling me that it should feel different, easier.

Kick it off - write it down!

The first big shift and a burst of energy came when I finally (and with a little shame I admit that for the first time) made something like a vision board and then elaborated on it, what I plan to do, how I want to present it, how I want people to perceive it, what the real goal is, what it can bring to whom and how I can expand it in the future. And then suddenly BOOM! Those things that were just in my head, where my brain could easily question them and throw them off at any time, were suddenly on paper where the brain has no power over them. It even all made sense to me and seemed doable. I was surprised how it all suddenly felt closer to reality, and how my self-esteem automatically rose. I moved from a position of "maybe I'll do this one day when I am more experienced" to "I can actually do all this right now, let's do it". By doing this, I became more concerned with the excitement of accomplishing rather than the fear of not knowing how to start. I just started looking for possible first steps. And that's when it all started to move.

When you start the train, jump in!

I wanted to encourage myself, so I joined Lenka Ondruchová's FB support group where people shared their goals for January, how they were doing, and supported each other (I normally avoided such groups). There I came across Martina Bartoskova, who offered me her services (RTT therapy). I search more about it and discovered that I really liked it and could even study it myself. This completely paralyzed me for 2 days, because pursuing therapy is my dream and plan actually since I underwent mine, but certain courses are unavailable to me and many of the available things, on the other hand, do not resonate with me at all. Everything was boiling inside me so much that it was exhausting even physically. My body just hasn't experienced such a surge of energy in a long time. (This was my higher self letting me know that I was finally moving in a good direction.)

I laid in research for two days, begged Lenka for a call to ask her what it was like (she had undergone RTT therapy herself), and immediately booked an interview for potential applicants. The interview surprised me so much with its form that it threw me off even more and I took the dramatic step. "Martina, I think I want to study it, but I want to try it out for myself before I decide. Do you have a free date, please? ASAP, of course!" Well, when you're in the flow I was experiencing those days, and you're on the right track, the answer is simply always: "I'm booked until the end of January, but someone just canceled my appointment for tomorrow." (That's exactly what it looks like when the Universe itself is helping you.) And so it was that I tried the therapy myself, experienced absolutely incredible things during it, moved my creative block and procrastination by about 60% within 10 days because of it, and was enrolled in my studies within 14 days (more in the next article).

And so it happens. You may experience extended periods of neutrality with no change and no inspiration, but if you are mindful of yourself, don't think shallow and try to see the patterns that are holding you back (but with kindness, patience, and no remorse!!!), one day it will all just fall into place and you will open the floodgates of energy that will overturn everything in a matter of days and move you a mile further. It is absolutely ok like that, that's the balance. It's not about a constant frantic shift, everything always comes at the right time when we're ready for it.

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Once again, I would like to express my thanks to both Lenka and Martina, who always took the extra time to support me during these two crazy weeks. I think I'm beginning to understand the benefits of joining female energy. And also to my man, who has been enthusiastically experiencing it all with me and helping me with everything so I can focus on things like this!